Creating Boundaries With Your Loved Ones

As a Virtual Assistant, we know that we need to set boundaries with our clients to work effectively. They are essential for our well-being because they help us stay true to the business we’ve created, and we’re constantly keeping those boundaries at the forefront of our minds.

However, client boundaries aren’t the only ones we should be establishing as a VA- we also need to set boundaries with our loved ones.

You heard me correctly. To run a successful business, not only do you need to set limits and boundaries with your clients, but you need them for your family and friends as well. Otherwise, they may distract you, cause you to lose focus, or monopolize your time- and time is a VAs most valuable commodity, so we have to protect it.

However, I understand that establishing boundaries with loved ones isn’t nearly as easy to do, so here are a few ways we can make it easier.

The first step to setting any boundary is to figure out what you want those boundaries to be. Think about your work hours, what things distract you the most (like kids barging in, friends constantly texting, etc.), if you’re constantly getting up for coffee or the restroom, or if you have a problem with unexpected visitors. Then, you can make a plan to eliminate those outside distractions.

Once you’ve figured out your boundaries, it’s time to sit down and have a conversation about them. Use this conversation to explain why you need to be undisturbed during work hours, what those hours are, and make sure they know where your workspace is. You can also give any exceptions- like only disturb you if someone is seriously hurt, the house is on fire, etc.

Then, stick with it. If you have a dedicated space, shut yourself away during work hours and refuse to engage with outside distractions. That way, they’ll know you’re serious about your terms.

Now, I get that this conversation will look different to different people. If you’re explaining your boundaries to your dad, you’re not going to talk to him like you would a child. So, you may have to take time and interact with each loved one in turn. It may feel like tough love, especially where kids and significant others are involved, but it will help you focus on your business and can benefit your family in the long run.

Your family and friends are usually happy to support you, and you can utilize that by asking them to respect your boundaries. If you have a family, ask your significant other to help the kids follow the rules during work hours. You can also see about hiring a babysitter if they also work during the day.

For friends and other family members, you can remind them that you’ll be working during the hours of X and X and that you’ll reply to any messages or calls afterward. If they resist the change, gently remind them that it’s nothing personal, but you do have a business to run and can’t afford any distractions during that time.

Then, put your notifications on silent and enjoy some uninterrupted time! In time, they’ll come to respect your decision.

Setting boundaries may be great for our business, but they can take a toll on our personal life if we let them get out of hand. Our partners may not understand these boundaries at first, but it’s understandable. They’re just as new to this as we are, so it might be helpful to have a separate conversation with them about your business and what it means to your relationship.

You can ask them what it’s like being the partner of an entrepreneur and how they feel about your occasional late nights, your boundaries when working from home, and how they think it’s affecting the relationship.

Boundaries are a key element in a Virtual Assistants life. We know how to set them with clients, but making them with loved ones is often difficult to do. Just remember to be firm in your intentions, clear with your communication, and be prepared to stand your ground.

It isn’t easy, but it will be worth it.

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