The Problem With Relationship Advice for Women

I get tired just thinking about it.

I was doing my typical round on the web, finding interesting articles to read. Then, as every so often, I found a piece on relationships…more specifically, on advice for women.

As usual, I rolled my eyes. And, as usual, I clicked on it.

That kind of article holds a morbid fascination over me. I read them with a mix of amusement and contempt. The advice makes so much sense while being incredibly condescending and ridiculous. Of course, there’s the fact that those pieces make me feel quite self-aware of my weirdness.

In many of those articles, the author — it doesn’t matter the gender — explains all of the things a woman shouldn’t do. Apparently, there’s a whole catalog of phrases to avoid unless you want to send Him running in fear, as well as actions that, if you do them too early/late/eagerly/sloppily, will have your man looking for someone else.

There are lists, graphics, videos, audiobooks…a whole damn industry willing to let us know all of the ways we are falling short when it comes to making a man think we are his ideal partner.

Ah! Yes! You see? That’s the trick: this ends up being a performance you have to keep 24/7 so you score your mate.

Now, if someone wishes to go through all of this, heck, go ahead. It’s your time and your life. However, to me, all of this sounds utterly exhausting, not to mention dishonest.

One of the reasons those articles tend to get to me, it’s because many of them posit the theory that there are certain phrases you shouldn’t use or attitudes you should hide, so the man in front of you doesn’t get a clear idea of what you really want.

They suggest hiding aspects of your personality, as well as your genuine desires. In other words, concealing your true intentions, all in the name of gaining a partner.

But what will happen later? You know, once the deal is sealed and you have to spend hours, days, or many years with that person. Will they even know who you truly are? Won’t it be much of a downer for them to…

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